Shifting responsibility for behavior onto someone else, allowing blamer to deny responsibility and to justify anger at someone else for "causing" the behavior.
"I'm not able to put the dishes away because my dad used to yell at me as a kid about that" (but then never worked on his trauma or sought therapy to work through those problems).
#FUKIGEN NA MONONOKEAN TSUZUKI GAY FULL#
"I can't go to the grocery store by myself cause I might forget something and you're better at it anyways" (even though I made a shopping list and had the burden of figuring out what to eat for the week - while he was unemployed and I was working full time and going to school).
"Well I can't apply to 3 jobs a day because that's impossible there aren't enough postings" (there were) Ok, then what about going back to college? "I can't because I don't know what to major in".
(Example: In telling why damage was done to a girlfriend's home, "I couldn't stand it when I came over to see you and you weren't home.") The person gives excuses to justify inappropriate behavior instead of accepting responsibility, especially when confronted by others. SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE I'm glad that I figured it out eventually and I want to use that knowledge to prevent this happening to other women. If I had this knowledge a long time ago I could have saved myself 5 years of emotional abuse and trauma. Ladies if you see any of these signs in your relationship then you need to RUN. This list is more often used to look for signs of physical abuse from NVM, but I found that these tactics in themselves were things that were used to emotionally abuse me. I hope this can help at least one woman who might be in a relationship with a narcissist or a NVM that shows any of these tendencies. Here are some signs to look for and my personal experiences added on. I was going through this list feeling like I could check off almost every box and I wish I had seen something like this earlier in our relationship (like one of the many past times I had considered ending the relationship but ended up getting sucked back in). I've been working with my therapist to get over the trauma caused by my NVM narcissistic ex-husband and she gave me this list of domestic violence patterns of behaviors.